Learning Outcome #1 explains my ability to engage in global a local revision. In my entry prompt, my local and global revision only included changing the way I introduce the evidence, other than that there was little to no change in both the local and global revision. I choose my essay on the topic does science need art, called “Integration is the only way to survive the modern age” to show my ability to use global and local revision. In this essay I show large changes to my global revision in the content and points made in my paragraphs, my local revision is seen quite often in my sentence level structure to make sure it is clear and readable. An example of my use of global revision can be seen in my 4th paragraph, decided to add a more in depth view of how more specifically writing can use science in it’s process (highlighted in). My local revision in the 4th paragraph included the restructuring of my Hook sentence to make it clear and to increase its readability (highlighted in yellow), as well as the second sentence in my intro paragraph that helps to serve as a two-sentence hook. The changes in the local revisions may seem small but it increased the power and readability of the sentence greatly.
When going from my entry prompt revision to my Significant Writing Prompt, I find that my revision skills for global revision has increased. I went from just having changes in introducing the author, to having changes that helped narrow and highlight key points of my essay, giving specific examples to help my readers understand each point I tried to make. In local revisions I have also seemingly improved, I went from not recognizing any local revisions that needed to be done to being able to find and fix small sentence structure errors found throughout my essays.
Global: My original was
“The humanities are struggling to catch up with the modern area, their respect and dedication to the ways of yore turning more into a hindrance than a niche. In every field it is important to understand and accept no method is without error and can always be improved. Science brings an exciting plethora of information and unique ideas that the humanities can use to improve their current creative processes. Science is forever discovering and experimenting with new worlds of exotic colors, creatures, and images from beyond the earth that we can’t even imagine. It is also studying some of the fundamental aspects of the humanities. Steven Pinker, while discussing the benefits of integrating the humanities and sciences with each other said “Linguistics can illuminate the resources of grammar and discourse that allow authors to manipulate a reader’s imaginary experience.” This only one of the numerous examples he pointed out of how integration can benefit the humanities. Science is constantly investigating how the things that surround us affect us, from colors to speech, from consciousness to politics. If the humanities embraced and integrated this aspect of science, they could expand and evolve their studies to and improve the discrepancies and weak methods they follow.”
Global: Final:
“The humanities are struggling to catch up with the modern era, their respect and dedication to the ways of yore preventing them from reaping the rewards science integration. In every field it is important to understand that no method is without error and can always be improved. Steven Pinker, while discussing the benefits of integrating the humanities and sciences with each other said “Linguistics can illuminate the resources of grammar and discourse that allow authors to manipulate a reader’s imaginary experience.” This only one of the numerous examples he pointed out of how integration can benefit the humanities. Science brings an exciting plethora of information and unique ideas that the humanities can use to improve their current creative processes. Science is forever discovering and experimenting with new worlds of exotic colors, creatures, and images from beyond the earth that we can’t even imagine. In writing one of the most important qualities to maintain is realism. While you rely on wild imagination it is important to restrain it to a point it is immersive and believable. I have found that by incorporating elements of science whether it be its principles, theories, machines, and/or discoveries that you give the story a sense of credibility. If you create a creature in a story, it is important to understand what features it should have and why based on the environment you set it in, otherwise its purpose is just to be a surface gem with no depth or reason. If the humanities embraced and integrated this aspect of science, they could expand and evolve their studies to and improve the discrepancies and methods they currently follow and use.
Local: Original
“They are clashing, with the arts “demonizing” the sciences, and the sciences discrediting the arts.”
Local: Final
“They are clashing, the arts are “demonizing” the sciences, and the sciences are discrediting the arts.”
